The J-Notes
Fansided

Who Will Be The Next Utah Jazz All-Star?

By Greg Foster

facebooktwitterreddit

Welcome to the The J Notes Mailbag: Edition No. 5. My coffee mug is filled to the brim, my mind is racing and my fingers are properly stretched and ready to fire. Have a question you’ve been itching to get off your mind? Hit me up on Twitter.

Today, we’ll be covering who the next Utah Jazz player to don an All-Star uniform will be, bad tattoos, the current point guard situation and more. I even make my official Super Bowl pick.

I’m going out on a limb and say Rudy Gobert. Not because I think he’s the most worthy player, but because of the lack of depth at the center position.

Personally, I think either Gordon Hayward or Derrick Favors are more deserving of a selection—they’re better overall players—but they face a logjam of talent when it comes to their positions. Think about it, Favors has to contend with LaMarcus Aldridge, Anthony Davis and Blake Griffin at the four. Tim Duncan, Dirk Nowitzki and Zach Randolph will also receive a ton of consideration as legacy players.

When it comes to Hayward, he’s competing against Kevin Durant and Kawhi Leonard. Both, in my opinion, are better players. That’s not a knock on Hayward either–KD and Kawhi are simply otherworldly and likely Hall of Famers. Hell, even Rudy Gay has the ability to put together an All-Star type season.

Gobert has to deal with Marc Gasol—who’s entering the downside of his career—Demarcus Cousins—until he inevitably gets traded from Sacramento—and Deandre Jordan.

We also have to consider that the All-Star Game is a popularity contest, and the Jazz aren’t winning any of those any time soon. However, there’s hardly a player in the NBA garnering a bigger buzz right now than Rudy. He’s become somewhat of a Twitter legend and a fan favorite, to go along with his highlight reel dunks and swats.

If this is every Jazz player in history, then it has to be Greg Ostertag. No way ‘Tag has the stamina, charisma, intelligence or mental fortitude to match the rigors of a presidential race. Also, with how much he hates sport coats, I highly doubt he’d be willing to put on a suit day-in and day-out.

If this is a Jazz player on the current roster, then it’s Rudy Gobert. First off, he’s not an American citizen and the birthers movement would get out of hand in a hurry. Secondly, I don’t see the public agreeing with his defense strategy, which I presume would be to block everything sent his way. America already has enough embargoes.

My expectations are that the Jazz are once again going to be in the bottom rung of point guard production, and  I don’t think a trade is going to happen, because the Jazz have depth at the wings/skill positions.

Coach Quin Snyder constantly talks about playing “positionless basketball.” Therefore, I could see the Jazz relying heavily on players like Hayward, Rodney Hood and Alec Burks to make plays and distribute the ball. In fact, I can see Burks paired up with Hood, Hayward, Favors and Rudy as an effective lineup that could get a lot of minutes.

To the second part of your question, I think the Jazz will probably roll with Trey Burke to start the season. If he can improve his paltry 37 percent shooting, his distribution and defense, the Jazz will be just fine. But that’s a rather tall order.

Ultimately, I think this position will belong to Raul Neto. ESPN pundit Amin Elhassan agrees with me and said as much on Zach Lowe’s podcast (skip to the seven minute mark). Here are the CliffsNotes–

Regardless of anything outside of injuries, Bryce Cotton will come off the bench in a limited role.

This is the only appropriate answer:

Give Davis a maximum of two years and he’ll be the best basketball player on the planet.

As someone with acute tattoo regret—back off, I got it when I was 18—I feel like I’m very qualified to answer this. The winner is: Andrei Kirilenko.

Deron Williams’ cat thing is trite and corny and horrible, but holy hell, LOOK AT THE MONSTROSITY ON AK’S BACK!!! GAH!!!!

I have no idea what this thing is supposed to be, but I guarantee looking at it long enough will cause nightmares and eventual blindness.

There are only two reasons Andrei would get this tattoo.
1) Vladmir Putin made him.
2) He recently entered a bad decision contest and refused to lose.

It’s one thing to get something on your arm like Deron, but an entire back tattoo—especially on someone who’s six-foot-nine—is a different, much longer story. Kirilenko’s tattoo isn’t just the ugliest in this competition, it’s one of the ugliest tattoos in the history of the world.

Nope, not this year at least—thank the Universe and its lucky stars. Currently sitting at 0-2, the probability of a Seahawks Super Bowl victory are somewhere between not gonna happen and a snowflake’s chance in Hell.

My pick this year–the Green Bay Packers. Aaron Rogers is a cyborg assassin disguised as the NFL’s best quarterback and they’re defense is pretty damn good.

I’ll save you all the trouble right now. “Stick to basketball, idiot.”


Why is this question written in the past tense? Are you insinuating that I’m dead?

No. I was named after one of my Mom’s best friends. He died in a car accident. I’m also a much better rebounder than Greg Foster the Jazzman.

Fun fact: As a freshmen in high school, I played on an AAU team with Thurl Bailey Jr. and Chris Morris Jr. This led to me getting asked this question all the time.

Another fun fact: I wasn’t very good.

Next: Four Utah Jazz Players Named to ESPN's Bottom 100

More from The J-Notes

Home/Jazz News